I know how many sacrifices were made for me. Some of them specifically listed my family, others were more subtle, but sensed for some glances that were made. And the result was a strong sense of guilt.
I lost my mother when I was still very small. I was 9 and had to accept that until I can succeed alone to take care of me, who will take care of it were the maternal grandparents. The pain overwhelmed her and her previously lost two other children in the six to have had lifelong. But the two still had this thing alive and brought them somehow comforting. For me love my mother could not be replaced by anything.
I remember my first birthday I celebrated her grandparents without my mother. Although their resources were reduced, although birthdays of the children was an event that had not been involved for a long time, they were careful not to cross that day by me without leaving a trace. They tried to make me joy.
When I walked into the small kitchen and the cool half a table was littered a white cloth napkin, immaculate. On it was a plate of cheese, boiled eggs and some tomatoes. The first that we saw in that year because they were still expensive at the market. They sat down and grandparents stood at the other end of the table, without napkin. Without tomatoes.
It was the ritual of sacrifice. I had me to see how much I love her, to understand how much of this they are willing to do to make my joy, to feel her swallowing sec for me. I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat and I looked far into today how much I would have preferred to share those tomatoes (proposal vehemently denied) or to throw them over the fence. Let's go.
My happiness ...
I followed the pattern my turn, then I worked with myself than to go beyond phase. A mother does for her child sacrifices, but enjoys the privilege of choosing between priorities. If I had to choose between paying my child's camp and pay a subscription to the spa for me, obviously I would choose his camp because his happiness would make me happier than a million massages (massages ... and I like! ). It's not a sacrifice, it's a choice. If my heart would need to survive, I would remove one breast to give it. I would not sacrifice, I would enjoy the privilege of being able to give back life.
Little things
But when it comes to trinkets, I learned not my child burdened with guilt. Divide the tomato, so to speak. A cut in three (even though I care that his piece is greater). And if we have something to please the two dogs share with them. Time also is divided. As the child needs to be left alone when playing with friends or watching a movie, so I need my time and I. To work or to dream wild goose chase. And if you happen to want expensive things simultaneously, negotiate and give in time. I never said I will not ever say that my give something that he can accede to something's. It would be unjust. Instead, we give priority to one another and often insist me to take it desired pair of sports shoes, and he'll take me those jeans torn "horror that was about, but if you want ..." There's a little trick which completely changes the landscape. I replaced the child who receives burdened by guilt tomatoes on the table with good cheer child receiving a gift knowing that it's not the only one who has access to joy. And also, that some deserve happiness, or have to wait.
Their hobbies and pleasures
Among the drops, release blame parental leave child sacrifice to enjoy their hobbies and pleasures with interest, joy and pragmatism. Because happiness does not imply my unhappiness or another man. On the contrary. If you feel every time we sacrifice for him would have two choices: to fill his cheek and ignore fault, acclimatizing to it as part of the process, or reluctant to give up. Let them be afraid to want. To turn into an adult impudent and without empathy or a person who is afraid to fulfill any dream that injures or disturbs. My child knows that is allowed to dream, to make plans, to make choices and to calculate its steps towards the fulfillment of a dream. Be attentive to others, seek to be happy without you. And yes, certainly every parent in this world, and I quit because he could more. But that's my secret and I'm going to reveal it again. Because it finds out firsthand how sweet is the feeling of making choices for your child you will, in turn, father.
photo credit: google.com
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HAVE A NICE DAY !!!!
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