Yesterday was a difficult and frustrating day for me. I know you’ll understand because when we have an addicted loved one, life seems to be a constant journey, up and down, hope and grief, effort and relapse.
This past year has been a year of homelessness, crack houses, sickness, beatings, hospitals, jail, and detox for Nathan and so for those of us who love him, there has been continued devastation. Devastation sprinkled with hope for those periods when he would detox.
LETTER TO A DRUG ADDICT: “I COULD GIVE A RAT’S ASS”
Hi Friend, it’s me just waiting to hook you up. Sneak out. I’ll be waiting. Don’t listen to that “inner voice” your Family talks about. You know the one, “We’re here for you”. “Let’s get you into a
Nag. Nag. Nag. That’s all they do. They say it’s because they “love you”. “They want you to be able to live a full and healthy life”. Well to hell with them. I could give a rat’s ass about that. That right. No pressure from me. I say, it’s your life.
I could give a rat’s ass if you lie, steal or manipulate the people in your life. That’s their problem.
I could give a rat’s ass if you break into houses, steal cars, shoplift or steal old ladies purses. No pressure from me. I’ll be there whenever you want me. I don’t judge anyone. I’m an equal opportunity friend.
You will do anything to have me in your life. You will devastate your Family – your parents, brothers and sister. You will lose life partner. Your wife. Your husband. Your children. You will lose your job, your car, your home, yours friends. But I could give a rat’s ass.
I’ll still be there whenever you want me.
I am here whenever you invite me. I only show up when you call for me.
Your choice. That’s right. As long as you want me in your life, I will be there.
I will be waiting for you when you end up in jail. I’ll be waiting when you are beaten to a pulp. I’ll be waiting for your release from hospital if you lose an arm from using dirty needles. Hell, who needs the veins in that arm anyways. They’re pretty much all collapsed anyways. You can use the veins in your neck, or feet or groin. You have other options.
Your Mom is sitting by your bedside. Tears running down her cheeks. I say, “Get a grip lady”. I could give a rat’s ass about her. But, I’ll be waiting for you. I will always be there when you want me. I’ll never be more than a phone call away.
I don’t let you feel anything. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.
I take care of that. I’ll leave you feeling empty. And when you die, well, I won’t give a rat’s ass. There are millions of people whose lives I can own.
Yup that’s me. A fickle friend. I took everything from you. Well, actually that’s not true.
Thanks for the memories.
Sincerely,
Your drug of choice, Heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, crystal meth.
P.S A piece of advice: You should have listened to the people who loved you. They really did care. But me? Well like I said – I gave a rat’s ass about you.
Written by June Ariano-Jakes, author of Addiction: A Mother’s Story
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HAVE A NICE DAY !!!!
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