I became a mother at 23 and I was very clear what to do: I
had to be the big sister, my child's playmates. What could be so complicated?
Half of my existence had been a child, I knew very well how it works. There was
no way to be overcome by all that was happening to me. But ...
I wake up early, sometimes very early every day. I kiss the
child, Victor, sleep and get away from him. I make coffee and retire in
"my room", which is the place of work and dining room, and playground
and all, but that's not important, the important thing is that they only have
the privilege to see the sunrise window sun every morning.
Nothing, but nothing in this world compares to the east.
This is my moment! Write or read while the sun rises, I drink coffee in a
silence and savor seconds, and I make for wonderful day schedule below.
Since Victor came into the world, time and space were
severely diminished. In the early years, I stayed just stunned. Could not find
the place anywhere, I could not rest (although sleeping more), I could not
coordinate, and anything I can not do it properly. Everything was upside down,
and it bothered me terribly.
I lived it until the night I had no sleep. Then I got up at
4 and I started the day. When he woke up the baby I
Since then, every day I wake up in the dark and do ballet
house. I learned every piece of creaky floors and a bypass. I know, without
light light, where everything I need. Challenge each morning is to make no
noise. I do all kinds of tricks in the kitchen. Lighting the stove with the
match, because the button is not so quiet. Put two towels on the table before
you sit down for coffee cup. I use a plastic spoon to not reproduce the sound
that destroyed my childhood mornings: spoon in cup - my father had an obsession
- coffee must be stirred well, that is energetic and noisy. And after I'm done
with the kitchen, doing ballet with coffee mug in hand and retire to light
aquarium near a window.
And this is my time. It's the day when no one calls me,
nobody asks me anything, no one calls me, nothing is urgent. I feel, somehow,
outside. I feel like a prisoner who has the opportunity to leave the prison
gate and out daily, but never leave. It always returns back after feeling a
little freedom.
So are you. I found when I secretly enjoy the freedom of
being single and not blow it again. If you miss, are troubled all day ... In
the morning I would like to connect to power and I would load the rest of the
day. And even so it is!
In the mornings we spend alone time for all. The more I find
that I do not have time to miss. Dorm bed when Victor was born. Asleep on me
(skin to skin in four years, yes). I like to keep it up and I think a little
fear when they no longer want that (because I feel it coming), but in the
morning I get tired ribs and lungs. And then run away from him and are so as to
make me miss. He wakes up alone and I cry whispered "Mommy" and I ran
to him in the next second. I hold her, I rub his hand, kiss him on the forehead
and chin and neck, rub her feet and back to stop not only when he wakes up for
good. And so begins our day ... And this is good!
Excuse me, can you expect me to write about a new adventure
with Victor, but that's when I start writing in the morning ... It's my time!
To be loved!
HAVE A NICE DAY !!!!
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